Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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