why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
