Pappa wants mamma naked
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You've changed since you got that strap on
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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