I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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