i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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