She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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