i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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