I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
