This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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