This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am puke
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
