i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
