apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
