So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
