If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
