You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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