Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
