But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
