Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
