I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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