Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
