Need sex. Gaining weight.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
is it fun? or sober?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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