I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
