Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I am mentally ready for anal.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
