shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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