Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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