Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
