Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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