I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
