I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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