i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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