I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
