Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
