Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
