so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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