I got her a Nickelback box set.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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