Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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