Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
