Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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