You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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