I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
