Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
