Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
