it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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