thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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