And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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