John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
