His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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