fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
