what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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