I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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